PLAGUED with anxiety and suicidal thoughts after being bullied at school, a Phoenix teenager has turned her adversity into a tool to help other victims of bullying.
Husna Hoosen, 18, of Lenham, penned her pain and experiences into a book, Unbroken, which she recently launched at Exclusive Books in La Lucia Mall.
The Grade 11 pupil, who is now home schooled, said she was born with a birth defect and was diagnosed with a rare and complicated condition. She said in Grade 10 her condition took a turn for the worse and resulted in her missing school often.
“During this time, a group of mean girls were using peer pressure to try and get me and other girls to smoke. When I refused and began encouraging other girls not to give into the pressure, they became angry and that was when the bullying started.
“A group of girls in the same grade, but in different classes, began spreading rumours that I was pregnant, especially when I stayed away from school to have procedures done in hospital. When I went back to school, they tormented me. The rumour spread quickly and everyone, even the teachers, questioned me about being pregnant.
“The bullying escalated and I felt overwhelmed. I was then cyberbullied by the same group of girls. They shared statuses about me and posted rude comments. They sent me the same messages to my inboxes on social media. They called me fat and ugly, and would pick on the scars from my operations.
“We were all friends from primary school. I found it difficult to deal with the fact that people who were once my friends, would cause me so much pain. They said my grandparents died because of me and my father left because of me,” she said.
Husna said the group of girls deliberately tried to get her to have panic attacks.
“They followed me and gathered around me. I felt claustrophobic and unable to breathe. They were happy that I was having panic attacks and did whatever they could to aggravate my anxiety. They messaged and threatened to hit me.
“On one occasion, they tried to hit me but luckily, I was among friends who defended me. The last straw was when I ran out of the school and went home because I couldn't breathe after suffering a panic attack. Every time my mom went to school to address the issue, the bullying got worse. Their parents said: ‘My child would not do this’.”
Husna sought professional help and counselling.
“I reached a turning point in April this year, when I was home alone and got messages of hate. I was home-schooled. They said I was uneducated and dumb because I had left school. I had a panic attack again. I could not stop myself from screaming and crying. I thought to myself, ‘this is not going to end’.
“Nothing was going to get better no matter how hard I tried. In the same week, I got news from my doctor that I needed to undergo another medical procedure. I felt depressed again. I made a voice message suicide note and took a handful of tablets. I thought that by the time anyone got to me, I would be dead. But I survived and I realised after I did not want to die but I also did not want to live. I was in the intensive care unit for two days and four days in a normal ward before I was discharged.”
She said the suicide helpline was helpful and led her to become stronger.
“I have been speaking to the counsellors on the suicide helpline, and it helped a lot. I also realised that my family supported me and I was not alone. I then started to think about all the other children that were bullied and tried to commit suicide. Those who did not get a second chance. This inspired me to tell my story. I hope other children will think twice about committing suicide because of bullying.”
Husna began writing the book in May. It also speaks of bullying by family members and relatives, who judged her for needing psychological treatment for depression.
“They said I am mental and that I was mad. The book is also aimed at parents, adults and society. Some children do not have supportive families and they choose suicide. Parents and adults need to be less judgemental and more supportive,” she said.