AFTER meeting by chance at a family wedding in 1969, Krishna and Selvarani Raman defied family expectations and secretly dated for six years before tying the knot.
Now celebrating their golden anniversary, the Phoenix couple shared their journey of love, challenges, and the secrets to a successful 50 year marriage.
Krishna,78, and Selvarani Raman, 72, celebrated their wedding anniversary on April 6.
Even though they have been married for five decades, they are very much in love, like when they first met in 1969.
“It was a chance meeting when my Krishna’s brother was invited to my sister's wedding. He brought Krishna along with him. That was when we met for the first time. It was love at first sight. I was 15 and he was 21. But our families didn’t know much about how we felt about each other at that time,” said Selvarani.
She said they "dated" secretly for six years before getting married.
“We had a lot of drama before our marriage. My family had suitors lined up for me to get married. But I kept stalling because I wasn’t ready. In the meantime, it was because I had already met the love of my life.
“I moved to Durban from Mandeni to work at SA Clothing and I lived with my sister. Krishna and I wrote letters to each other and when we had the money, we would make a telephone call,” she said.
Soon thereafter, the two started meeting without anyone knowing. Krishna was from Stanger and worked at a printing press.
“We secretly met. My sister was strict and wanted me home at a certain time, so it was difficult. But we always made it work,” said Selvarani.
“Krishna finally got the guts to ask my dad for my hand in marriage when I was 21-years-old and he was 27-years-old. My family refused. I begged my father to allow me to marry Krishna. He eventually agreed but had to persuade my strict mother. He loved that my husband was a Govender boy. We were Moodleys. Eventually, after Krishna spoke to my mother, she agreed and we were proposed to in December 1974, after being together for six years. I was delighted," said Selvarani.
After four months, the couple who knew they were meant for each other, tied the knot on April 6, 1975, at the Stanger Town Hall.
“Our wedding was one of the biggest at that time with 1 000 guests. Those days, there were no invites, everyone you knew was invited. It was long and tiring with the wedding starting at 10.30am and ending at midday. But the festivities carried on until later that evening,” said Selvarani.
After marriage, Selvarani started her own dressmaking business, which she still runs today, and Krishna later became a traffic officer until he retired.
After two years of marriage, they had their first son in 1977 and two daughters thereafter. They have five grandsons and one granddaughter.
“We worked hard together to make our family a successful and happy one. Today we are a close-knit family. Marriage has taught me to be understanding, tolerant and compassionate about most situations. Even if there are quarrels in the day, we never go to bed upset or angry. It is forgotten before the end of the day,” said Krishna.
Krishna said he was excited to have spent so many years with the love of his life, especially since they supported the same soccer team.
“It feels great to achieve 50 years together and still be happy. We enjoy travelling and our mutual love for Manchester United and sports in general are our passions. We also love our family and friends and still entertain often,” he said.
He said that marriages these days ended before it began because there was a lack of communication between couples and spending quality time together.
“Let bygones be bygones. Life is for living and to be happy. Cellphones are a huge distraction from personal interaction. Marriages are definitely different now compared to our days. Couples argue more and tend to make rash decisions. I always considered my wife’s feelings,” said Krishna.
The golden pair spent their anniversary with their loved ones.
“We celebrated by having a party with our friends, family and anyone, who had made an impact in our lives. It was wonderful,” said Krishna.
Their celebration was held at their daughter's factory in Phoenix.
“My son is a chef and he cooked all the food. My wife designed her dress and that of our daughters and granddaughters. They looked beautiful," he said.