#SexColumn: Why

By Sharon Gordon

Massage is always recommended as a method of foreplay. Read any article and there it is! A friend of mine recently spent a weekend away with a new interest and a massage was offered as soon as they arrived. I’d say he was trying too hard but she was delighted.

I’m not the touchy feely type so maybe you shouldn’t take all you relationship and #sexcolumn advise from me! One technique of massage caught my eye a couple of years ago. It’s called Bondassage. From the name you can get some indication of what it entails.

Bondassage is the most delicious form of sensual domination you’ll ever experience.

It is a kinky massage offering a softer, lighter experience, making it ideal for those new to bondage, and anyone curious to explore their sexual edge.

You may not be too familiar with the name, but Bondassage is the latest in indulgent sensation play, and a wonderful addition to your massaging skills. It is an erotic massage which very definitely will get things started.

This erotic massage offers a ‘taster plate’ of unusual sensations, light flogging and simple bondage techniques — and it’s often described as the ideal introduction to the bondage scene.

Why Bondassage?

If you’re a beginner to the world of S&M, Bondassage is a great place to begin your journey — and if you’re looking to safely explore your desires and boundaries, Bondassage is the experience you’ve been waiting for.

This massage is designed as an introduction to the art of S&M — and while it’s not extreme enough to leave any marks or scars, Bondassage promises to take you off the beaten path, on an arousing journey into new territory.

Surrender, explore and be vulnerable. Remember all the rules, you need to trust your partner and have a safe word. Some find the experience overwhelming and may want to stop the experience.

Their experience is much-needed time out from those stresses and strains, and an opportunity to surrender, explore, be vulnerable, go deep inside their bodies, and forget their everyday selves for a while.

What happens in a session?

In a Bondassage session, you’ll experience both sensory deprivation and sensory overload.

First, you’ll be lightly bound to a comfortable massage table. Use silk ties or rope. If this is too out there for you first time round you can skip the binding.

Next your eyes will be covered with a blindfold, and your ears with headphones, playing soft, sensual music. There are fantastic playlists available for this. It’s not like the old days when we spent days making a mixed tape.

Then sensations are explored, warm, experienced hands knead, stroke, tickle, spank and more. As part of the experience additional stimulation is provided through the use of props like fur, feathers, crops and floggers.

The experience should be tactile. Keep the rhythm consistent but because the person being massaged is blindfolded and can’t hear anything in the room you can offer surprises.

During a session, all kinds of feelings and emotions can come up.

People often report feeling a rush of endorphins, similar to a ‘runner’s high’, and the experience can take you into what’s called a subspace.

Time slows down and you enter a meditative, trance-like zone. Your mind is stilled and your body feels alive and more responsive than ever before.

The trick is having permission for what happens in this space. Is sex on or off the table. What will form part of this play. Get those permissions before you start.

Ending the session can be awkward sometimes. Don’t just stop. You need to bring your partner down. Start turning the music softer and then eventually off. Undo the bindings and eventually take off the blindfold.

Don’t forget you can read more about BDSM on our blog and don’t forget to watch our video or listen to our podcast on the subject.