QUESTION: My husband’s favourite time to make love is in the morning before work, but he tends to rush things before jumping out of bed. That often means I haven’t had an orgasm, as it takes me longer to peak since I turned 50. It’s frustrating to be left unsatisfied. What should I do?
ANSWER: You talk about your husband’s favourite time of day to make love, as if it supersedes your own preferences. Since when did you get no say in the matter? While I can see that a man who works long hours might feel less drained in the morning, there’s always the weekend for restoring balance.
Surely there’s time on a Saturday to see what hour suits your erotic bodyclock best? Perhaps you’ve become an afternoon woman, but haven’t been given the chance to find out. Maybe long, dark winter nights best suit your libido.
Many women find it becomes harder to reach orgasm as they get older - although the good news is that a climax, once reached, can feel richer, deeper and more relaxed.
Changes in the body’s hormone levels are one factor, and stress can adversely affect things, too. If you feel there’s a stopwatch ticking in bed, for example, you’ll probably tense up.
Then there’s the fact that any form of routine in the bedroom can suppress the libido; it’s hard to feel excited when you know every move your man will make. Isn’t it possible you’ve fallen in to your husband’s rut?
You seem anxious about talking to your husband about your dissatisfaction, but you can’t allow your love life to become a terminally one-sided business.
How would your husband feel if you pushed him away and leapt out of bed, just as he was getting going? In fact, why don’t you do just that once or twice to illustrate your point? Remind him that the best sex has much to do with generosity. - Daily Mail