QUESTION: I put on weight after I had children and more when I hit the menopause, so I’m now three dress sizes bigger than when I met my husband.
He says he still loves my body, but I find it hard to believe. I hate being seen naked and sometimes flinch from his touch. How can I learn to like my physique again?
ANSWER: You’ve correctly identified the main obstacle between you and a happier sex life - it’s not about losing weight, but regaining confidence.
Without self-assurance, even a willowy model can feel unattractive. And there are plenty of plus-size women who ooze sex appeal simply because they never doubt their right to be desired.
The truth is there’s very little that can make a person as attractive as being at ease with themselves. That’s why learning to love your body is more essential than a radical diet.
Many women lose weight and then find they’re just as unhappy, because the real problem is a lack of self-belief.
The good news is that your husband is loving. When he looks at you, he clearly sees a body that’s gained even more worth through childbirth and years of marriage. The challenge for you is to acknowledge that your husband’s desire is the truth.
Once you’ve made this mental shift, it will be easier to take other steps to bolster your confidence.
Every middle-aged person benefits from a sensible diet, but it’s exercise that will forge the most significant changes.
Anything aerobic will not only tone your body, but dramatically lift your mood. It’s possible that a course of HRT might also boost your mojo.
And why not splash out on a flattering silk slip? You may find it easier to keep the bedroom lights on if you’re semi-clad.
Above all, learn to recognise your husband’s desire for your body as the only valid measure of its beauty.
Daily Mail