By Lizzy Bliss
It is a well-known fact that most women find it difficult to reach orgasm through penetrative sex alone, with close to 70 percent of them admitting that they require additional stimulation.
In comparison, close to 95 percent of men can reach orgasm through penetrative sex. Simply put, during heterosexual intercourse, men have more orgasms than women. This is called the “Orgasm Gap”.
Oddly, even with modern technology, this gap isn’t getting any smaller. It turns out the average male isn’t as keen on the idea of incorporating sex toys into the bedroom as you might think. It’s a bit silly to think that he’ll be intimidated by a tiny, pink, vibrating silicone toy, but he might be.
Men are simple creatures, and that’s what makes them so complicated. The mere mention of the word vibrator can make them squeamish, and that’s understandable.
Being able to bring a woman to orgasm is considered a sign of masculine achievement, and the thought that a toy can replace him is intimidating. The fact is that precisely the opposite is true.
Here are a few things you can do to help persuade him to get over his vibrator anxiety:
Don’t bruise his ego
Sex toys can be an awkward topic, in the beginning, so keep the conversation light-hearted and fun. Be sure to let him know that he is an excellent lover and that the toy is just an accessory to increase the pleasure for both of you. Be honest and explain clearly that the intention is not to replace him but that you want to use the toy WITH him.
He might be a bit apprehensive in the beginning but give it some time; he’ll warm up to the idea. After all, what man doesn’t want his woman to have more orgasms?
Start small
A good idea will be to shop for a toy together or let him pick one for you. Shopping from the comfort of your own home and looking at all the different options together can be a lot of fun. If he’s still a bit hesitant, steer away from anything phallic-shaped and whatever you do don’t pick a toy that is bigger than his manhood.
This will leave him feeling inadequate and send him running for the covers. We recommend starting with something like a tiny rechargeable bullet or a suction vibrator (you can thank us later)
Turn him on
While they might not always admit it, for most men the idea of watching you play with yourself is a massive turn-on and putting on a private show for his eyes only is a sure-fire way to get him excited about your new toy. Have a glass of wine, turn the lights down low, play some music and invite him to watch exactly how you like being touched.
Use it together
It’s imperative that he feels included rather than replaced when you start experimenting with toys. Getting something like a wand massager that stimulates both of you will prevent this from happening. They were initially created to soothe sore muscles, but it didn’t take long to realise their true potential.
Start with a sensual massage and use the massager all over each other’s bodies, not necessarily just on your erogenous zones. Once he sees how much fun you’re having, he’ll put two and two together, and you’ll be buzzing with pleasure in no time.
In the end, sex toys are all about having fun, experimenting and discovering new sensations together. They will never be able to replace the real thing and were never intended to do so. Think of sex as a dessert and a toy is just the cherry on top.
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