NOOOOOO! Please say it ain’t so.
The Christmas countdown to getting tinselled tentacles into wallets has begun.
It reached the couch via Dolly Parton, all dimple and big smile and wearing a tight red Santa frock, in a Twitter meme saying it was never too early for Christmas songs. You gotta love Dolly: she’s gorgeous, bubbly, kind, has an amazing voice and led the way for many women artists. She has also earned one of the sexiest superpowers a woman can have: she doesn’t give any hoots about what people think or say about her, how she dresses and what she does.
But, sorry Dolly, not having to grind my teeth through all the dreadful Christmas songs wailing while fighting through packed shops makes me rejoice that my back is broken. Hey, you have to take the good wherever you find it. If there was a list of pros and cons, that might be Number 1 in the tick column.
If you have email, bet you’ve had at least one “deals newsletter” reminding you to do your Christmas shopping with Our Great Deals! only while stocks last, today! today! today! Between now and the time everyone gets into the Christmas spirit, we also have to negotiate Black Friday, which has morphed into Black Friday Week. Then there’s that Monday day when it’s all tech stuff (is that still a Thing?)
Back when I actually lived in the big world, going to malls and shops and stuff, I remember how all the sparkly stuff was draped across aisles earlier and earlier. And the shelf where your garbage bags had lived forever is full of gift packs, toys, dekorasies, and dancing/singing Father Christmases.
A mea culpa: a story in the IOS last week announced the beautiful Centre for Rehabilitation of Wildlife (Crow) 2023 calendars were available and that they would make wonderful Christmas gifts. They will, but there’s posting time to consider and we all know how that goes. So early is good in this case. We also left out details on how to order them: call 031 462 1127, visit crowkzn.co.za/ or email [email protected]
The other previous-life thing I don’t miss, especially around this time of year and for the next six months, is driving.
Not only does fuel cost more than a mortgage these days, but the days are hot and sweaty, and there are many more vehicles to manoeuvre around, each of them carrying people who are hot, sweaty, angry, frustrated, in a rush to go places and quick to hurl abuse or worse.
I am on a few traffic WhatsApp groups that report backlogs, road hazards like veldfires and crashes. Many of the reports include pictures or maps. I recently muted the phone for a two-week break. When I cleared my gallery, I binned nearly 2 000 images.
The number of crashes far outweighed other incidents.
This makes me pretty miserable, particularly when they involve death or injury. I always think of the families who are likely getting on with their normal days, unaware until news of the tragedy hits them and changes their lives forever.
Particularly up to and over the holiday season: nothing says unfestive as brutally as an empty chair at the table.
- Lindsay Slogrove is the news editor
The Independent on Saturday