ANOLENE THANGAVELU PILLAY
Don’t we all aspire to be the hero of our own stories, emerging victorious over personal challenges or professional hardships?
But in our eagerness to win, are we forgetting the true cost of conflict and the importance of choosing our battles wisely? Yet, there are times when we find ourselves struggling to reason with others, as if we are on two different pages unable to find common ground.
It’s like trying to read a book backwards – we’ve been there; we know how this plays out. But when someone’s reading from a different script, we are forced to hit the reset button, re-reading the pages of our narrative. This is when we need to select our battles wisely, recognising that not every page is worth re-writing. Sometimes, it is better to start a new chapter altogether.
As we close the book of a different script of exhausting battles, we are reminded that not every battle is worth winning. Why is it okay to lose some battles? Becoming self-assured in who you are should not be defined by moving past the outcome of trivial battles.
This article explores the importance of choosing your battles wisely. By choosing to focus our concerted efforts on what truly matters, we can structure our lives more constructively to achieve personal and professional fulfilment.
When we fail to choose our battles wisely, we often find ourselves scattering our energy and attention in multiple directions. This can lead to a sense of overwhelm, fighting a losing battle. By not prioritising our efforts, we can end up sacrificing our well-being. On the other hand, when we focus on the battles that truly matter, we can channel our energy into creating meaningful progress.
Have you ever stopped to think about the immense power that comes with being able to respond to a ‘battle’ on your terms? Are we truly aware of how those overwhelming feelings can quietly erode our state of well-being?
When we fail to choose our battles wisely, we risk succumbing to the epidemic of burnout. Burnout is defined as the emotional equivalent of a dry forest where the smallest spark of stress can ignite an inferno of anxiety, depression and exhaustion.
It is the cumulative effect of pouring our energy into every argument, every critique and every expectation. Become mindful of your emotional tolerance to prioritise your wellbeing to avoid burnout.
Consider the patterns of behaviour in those who have a deliberate intent to cause conflict. Are they consistently pushing our buttons, exploiting our weaknesses or manipulating our emotions? Some battles are deliberately designed to provoke us into bringing out the worst of ourselves, while other battles are intended to bring out the best version of ourselves.
We do not need to react to every opinion, comment or situation. It is a profound understanding that without our reaction or interaction, situations become powerless, and cannot affect our mental well-being. By choosing peace, we choose ourselves, our sanity and serenity.
As we reflect on the battles we choose, consider - are we fighting for a worthy cause or simply for the sake of being right? Are we exhausting our energy on unwinnable battles that will never be resolved? Are our words used to uplift and inspire or do they serve to tear down and hurt the emotions of others? Are we sacrificing our mental health for the thrill of victory, or do we prioritise peace and fulfilment?
By asking ourselves these questions, we begin to see the battles we entertain in a new light. Allow others to win their cycles of wasted energy. We do have the power to choose and respond to battles, we can either indulge in ego-driven battles or focus on our circle of influence, rising above the noise with grace and insight.
After recognising that battles can be seen in a new light, we understand that the chapters of our lives are intended to be a journey of growth and evolution. However, in a world where many people are struggling with issues beyond their control, it is more crucial now than ever that we are selective about the battles we entertain.
Each day we witness people struggling with mental health, poverty, inequality and injustice. We see it in the news, our communities and even within families where these individuals often feel powerless. Indeed, by choosing to focus on empowering others, we can create a ripple effect of positive change that resonates far beyond our immediate circles – one that values the well-being of all individuals regardless of their background or circumstances.
Why not use your skills more constructively to uplift and empower others against worldly injustices? Taking care of your mental health is not selfish, it is necessary. Most likely, essential as it unleashes a tsunami of positivity, and it is worth it.
Anolene Thangavelu Pillay is a psychology advisor.
Daily News